Growing Up
by lifethatyouhate
Summary: As they get older, it becomes harder and harder for Satsuki and Kanta to spot Totoro. One now rare visit with him turns exciting with a new confession.


Disclaimer: I do not own My Neighbor Totoro of any of the characters.

"Kanta…can't you see him? It's Totoro, Kanta!" After a few months of trying to keep their friends a secret, Mei and Satsuki had broken down and told the neighbor boy. It wasn't long before he and Satsuki put away their fake dislike and became real friends- and then they were always together, exploring their surroundings more creatures.

Kanta was concentrating very hard, staring into the distance. As they had gotten older and older, it had gotten harder and harder to see them. Even Satsuki had trouble seeing Totoro sometimes. The keeper of the forest and his spirit friends could be doing a ceremonial dance around the pair, and if they were too wrapped up in each other they wouldn't notice a single thing.

At fifteen, it was long past the time Kanta and Satsuki began to notice each other as more than friends- but it was still young enough for them to be shy about it. As a natural part of growing up, their infatuation with each other blinded them from the wood spirits- things only children could see. Nanny and Satsuki's father themselves had to admit that the two kids who had at one point not been able to stop arguing were now growing up and growing together.

At this moment, Kanta was staring hard, but his mind was far off, still on the popular topic of _Satsuki_. Her voice, her eyes, her hair, her smile…they were all things Kanta had noticed as he had grown. Not that he hadn't noticed them when she first moved, of course, and he held a childish crush on her. He had never expected to grow to like her as much as he did.

"Kanta!" Satsuki whined. Totoro was sleeping in the same cinnnamomum camphora hollow as he had been the first day Mei discovered him, and Satsuki was dying to run and visit him- but she refused to go if Kanta would be blindly walking around, looking at his friend like she was a fool.

To please her, the boy narrowed his eyes and tried to push her voice away to concentrate better- and after a long moment, he finally saw him, looking very peaceful. "I see him!" the boy said excitedly. Even at fifteen years old, it was hard not to get thrilled over the appearance of Totoro.

Laughing, they took each other's hands and ran over, burying their faces in the creature's soft fur. He stirred, but was a heavy sleeper- they had grown used to this over the years.

"That took longer than usual," Kanta admitting embarrassingly to the long haired girl beside him. She had finally been able to let her hair grow to be as beautiful as her mother's- it was something she prided herself on.

She latched onto Kanta's forearm, smiling as she held onto a tuft of Totoro's fur, afraid he would slip away as she chatted. "It's not your fault, Kanta. Adults can't see them and…well…we're getting older, I guess," she murmured. "Mei's going to freak out when I stop being able to see her friends."

Mei had grown to fit in quite well with her classmates, but much preferred the company of the wood spirits, and she spent hours in the forest while Kanta and Satsuki were content to spend hours together. It would be a long, long time before Mei lost sight of the spirits.

"What happens when one day, neither of us can see 'im?" Kanta asked quietly, looking at Satsuki carefully. The figure around him seemed to be slipping away, and he too grabbed a fistful of fur, holding on as tightly as possible.

Satsuki leaned into her friend with a playful smile, and his cheeks lit up red. "Don't worry, Kanta. I mean…I guess…we have to grow up. At least we'll have the memories. And what's so bad about growing up, anyways?" she teased, batting her eyelashes as she had learned to with age.

Kanta's cheeks were on fire. He was still the shy boy he had been seven years ago, though it was much easier for him to talk to Satsuki now that she was his closest friend. He couldn't tell her that _one _thing, though, try as he might.

"What is good about growing up?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. There wasn't much he could think about. Jobs, money, taking care of things. He wasn't so sure if he wanted to do that, or if he was even ready to do all of that.

Satsuki released her hold on him and Totoro and threw her hands up in the air as she began the list. "No more school! No more homework! _Jobs_! Houses! Family!" she giggled crazily, looking like she might start doing the series of cartwheels that was typical of her excitement when she was a little kid. But, color spread through her cheeks as she added on with a pointed look at her companion, "Dating."

If Kanta had been blushing before, there was no word for the coloring now. His grip slackened and he laughed nervously. "But that's a lot of responsibility."

"That's a lot of fun!" Satsuki told him excitedly. She often found the future something full of hope and joy. Kanta tried occasionally to talk to her, prevent her from being let down, but he couldn't stand it sometimes. She looked so happy when she was talking about the amazing things yet to come stuck in her head.

Kanta finally let go of Totoro to step closer to Satsuki, who had long since released her grip. "Come on, Satsuki," he grinned, "there's more to growing up than fun. There's a lot of work and stuff."

"But it's worth it, right? I just can't wait to have a family of my own, a house of my own- everything of my own!"

"Who are you gonna marry and have kids with?" Kanta stuck his tongue out at her childishly, but couldn't help but indulge a sliver of anticipation. Maybe she felt the same way! Maybe she would tell him! Maybe…

"Someone fun!" she cheered. Kanta's face fell. He wasn't very _fun_. In fact, he had grown up to be quite the pessimist. He always saw the glass half empty, always saw the sun setting instead of coming. He never caught the clock at 11:11, and he never had much to wish for.

Except for Satsuki, that was.

"Oh," was all he said, turning to step away. He knew he should check back for Totoro- he didn't want him to slip away while he wasn't paying attention, which had happened before- but he couldn't help it. He cared for the girl in front of him, more than she could ever expect.

"What's wrong?" she asked, tilting her head to the side to study him. It was typical of Kanta to suddenly withdraw from social situations, but not when they were _alone_.

With all the bravery he could muster, he finally told his best friend of seven years, "I'm not that fun, am I?"

Satsuki covered her mouth to suppress a giggle, but it escaped- and once it started, it was hard to stop. She kept on laughing and laughing while Kanta watched her, trying not to get annoyed.

"What's so funny?" he finally snapped, folding his arms. This only made her laugh harder.

"It's just…" she began, trying hard to talk to him, "you're…so…stupid!"

He stared at her, jaw dropped. "Stupid? How am _I _stupid? I'm not stupid!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are too!"

"Are-,"

And Kanta never got to finish that little bit, because right in the middle of his argument Satsuki pulled him to her and met him with her lips. When she pulled away from her kiss, she was giggling again.

"You are too fun, _genius_," she teased him.

Kanta looked prepared to continue this new thing he had now experienced, but when he saw Satsuki's upset face, he stopped.

"What's wrong?"

"Totoro's gone! I can't see him anymore! Oh, I hate when this happens Kanta!" she whined, covering her face with her hands as she looked between the cracks at the large spot Totoro had filled moments before.

Kanta spun around and looked too, and what he saw stunned him.

"I don't see him either."

"But…but…" Satsuki began desperately, unable to string together what she really wanted to say. "But…we've never not seen him at the same time before…it's just been one or the other…and I saw him right before we…"

They looked at each other with new understanding. They were growing up.

Perhaps that was the last time they would see the king of the forest, and perhaps it was not. But for now, in the hollow of the tree, Kanta decided that growing up couldn't be _all _bad, and kissed Satsuki once more.

"Are not."

Author's Note: :) I just love Kanta so much in this movie. He's so cute around Satsuki, and I know that only children can see the spirits, so I figured that as they got older things got more and more difficult for them. I like this story a lot, and I hope you guys like it too. (: Thanks for reading!


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